the return of the list

I have to state at this point that one of my all time favourite books is ‘High Fidelity’ by Nick Hornby. I like it, not only because of the insanely music loving characters (to who I can relate) but also because of the also insane notion of list making that Rob (the central character dude) is fixated upon. Lists are fun.. especially when they move away from the typical (‘rank your favourite batman films’ *) and focus on the practical.. like this one! So with no further ado, I proudly present my plan, on how to spend a week with only 2 euro.
No.. not just ‘any’ week.. xmas week!!
(If you are a girl. Well.. it’s easier, ain’t it?? But let’s – for arguments sake- pretend that there is only one gender. So. You can’t use your boobs (even if they’re big enough) and you can’t ask daddy for more cash. Clear? So you are a genderless person with 2 euro for xmas week.)

1. hopefully your car has some petrol left in it. Don’t use it unless you have no other option (like people picking you up, walking, cycling, crawling & begging for mercy etc). if you have a metro card you’re cool. If not you can’t really use the metro more than twice and then you’ll have no money left at all.
2. if you live in the same city as your parents go spend xmas with them. Xmas eve, xmas day and boxing day. There should be enough food left at the end of all these meals for you to take home.. that should probably keep you going for at least 3 more days. So that’s 3+3=6 you’re nearly there.. don’t complain. And yes, you probably DO have things you can cook at home.. don’t be an idiot.. you can eat rice without an assortment of steak. It just is a bit boring..
3. if you are a smoker, bump cigarettes from ANYONE you see smoking.. it’s the only way your 2 euro won’t go to the cheapest, most awful cigarette pack in the market.
4. have friends over for coffee, board games, video games etc.. you’ll have a great time, and you wont need to spend anything. If they want food, they can order take out. And if they need anything else, just tell them you have no money. They are your friends and if one of them is rich you might also get a loan..
5. again.. read books, play video games and watch series on tv (I don’t care if you need to nibble while doing those. You don’t have the money to nibble.. just shut up and have tea. It’s cheap. If you don’t have tea I’m sure you have some left over beverage..
6. if you feel like going out, go for a walk around town. It’s very nice this time of year. You can even buy a beer. There are concerts, shows, little lit up trees and houses. It’s pretty when it’s not freaking freezing!

god.. this isn’t even a challenge.. I think I’ll just put the 2 euro in my ‘capitalist piggy bank’ (lately known as ‘the cuba fund’ and try to make it without any cash at all..

Merry Christmas to all..

* yeah yeah.. i know.. rank the batman films..
Christopher Nolan for ever.. I love Burton, but come on.. we all know the worst was with Clooney, closely followed by the one with Val Kilmer..


of the naming variation

I tend to name things. for example, i call my car Prokopis. that comes out of Prokofiev not anything else. i was just thinking what name would fit a 2002 saxo and was working around names like bach, schubert etc. a friend suggested prokofiev (who, by the way, is impossible to listen to if you're not acquainted with music theory) and i called it prokopis instead.
then last week i saw on the street a guy driving a peugeot 206 with the sticker 'little bastard' stuck on the back- Little Bastard of course being what James Dean called his Porsche. yes the one he died in.
a few days later i happened by a car with another sticker 'misery', on the wind shield- yes, the misery from the book with the crazy woman and the writer..

is it a trend for us to name our cars after so dark and bleak things? (of course another friend calls her car Efterpi - but that's just not good anyway..)


On The Simplicity of Thought

thoughts need to be simple. if you're bored you're bored, you don't need a reason. if you want to watch a film why explain it further? if you want to go outside and scream why should you try to overanalyse your reasons? sometimes when a feeling is there it should just be accepted. if you love someone do you ask yourself why you do? if you want to see someone does it have to be justified with anything but your desire to see them?
for example today i want to go for a beer and then watch 'dogma' again. is it really that curious? should there be something wrong with me because i prefer it more than a martini on a yaght?
do we maybe, as a people, strain ourselves further by adding to our everyday troubles the notion of conspiracy, cover ups and hidden meanings?
when did the words 'i feel like staying in' start to equal 'i don't want to see you' or 'i am hungry' or 'i am abducted by aliens'? and when did i start sounding like Carrie Bradshaw (someone stop me)

what i am trying to convey here is a simple thought: 'it doesn't have to be complicated to be real' and in our reality, it really doesn't need to be. does it?


The Exponential Dream Theory

Ever since I can remember, my dreams have been strange. I don't mean it the way you think. we all have freakishly strange dreams from time to time. what i mean is that my dreams are weird in general.. by common acceptance.. by everyone i've ever narrated them to.
for example, things are always different but i perceive them to be the same: my family's cabin in the mountains is a completely different cabin in completely different mountains, but every time I dream about it it's the same different place (wow.. you have to appreciate my writing there!!). it has the same weird tree standing by the estate door, the same furniture, the same neighbours and the same strange little path the leads there- none of which exist in real life. when i was younger i dreamt once that aliens came down because they needed my help to save their world and at the end of the dream (they rarely get cut off in the middle) they told me that I could visit them twice more. which I did, a year later and a year after that. my friends are all there- just off the screen- as they look in real life, I have superpowers (I always have the power to fly whenever I want and wherever I am, I just have to run a little and then take slight steps upward until I find a current that takes me as high as I want. like a bird), my brother is always in and out of the picture, my language is always the same kind of telepathic blabber that my subconscious is trying to let out but cant. I understand I speak but when I analyse it I prefer thinking. so all my dream characters think instead of talking and talk only when they are angry.
there is one thing I never manage to do. I seldom manage to ride a horse in my dreams, although, in the really cruel ones I endlessly search for one just to wake up when I find it. I always loved horse riding, so it was something I did often as a child and I can't think of a reason why my subconscious would want to put me through such an ordeal..
other curious instances include replaying the movie I just saw, commercial breaks, end credits and cast notes. and I see all these things in a new light. true. pure and unintentionally sincere. sometimes i have amazing dreams. stories of valiant deeds and heroic acts and battles and pain and running. some others i just see myself relaxing in the comfort of my own home (which is differently the same of course), or i just dream of black. yes. that might win the prize. i dream. black. it's not that i don't remember. it's just black.
last night I saw that I was standing in a pool of light. It was wonderfull. I was just standing in a pool of light waiting for my body to call me back to earth for yet another monday (or is it wednesday..?). and when i woke up, I couldn't shake the feeling that what I left behind, was more of a reality than the one I'm in now.


The Curse of the Neverending Monday

does anyone out there feel like the weeks leading up to Xmas consist solely of mondays?
it's like the groundhog day with the added torment that you 'think' you are making progress..


OMG 3d in a row??

maybe there is something very wrong with me. consistency was never my strong point (never my weak point either)so i am indeed surprised that for the 3d day in a row i am sitting in front of the small white box of blogger to write something down.
i thought about this during the day.. what to write i mean. and my thoughts varied from favourite coffee flavours (boring), favourite music (soppy), depressed people in the office (you have your own) and paranoid conspiracy theories that travel through the net.. the later is interesting... not the theories themselves (those are way way way too many for anyone to analyse) but the thought that came to my head while i was pressing delete (i don't bother reading them anymore. i know what they're saying: 'the world is a playground and we are guinea pigs', 'everything is done for money and power', 'aliens are experimenting through static', 'starbucks is really not a fair trade company' and 'britney is probably the leader of the revolution that's way they pump her full of drugs'.. oh, and my personal favourite 'obama is the antichrist').
and something came to my mind.. i read somewhere (i'm not even gonna pretend to google it for the correct quote), that the best way to hide the truth is to release it, and then drown it in surrounding, similar lies.. so that the reality is so difficult to distinguish, becoming nearly unbelievable at the same time.. (i think it was Eco in Foucalt's Pendulum). do you think that gives us the right to decide for ourselves which truth is truer to us? or should we spend our days looking into endless info to dig it out?
no. the 'truth'is that the Truth died a long time ago. what is left now is only 'matter of opinion', 'perspective' and some broken fragments of light, too dificult to distinguish and too small to make a difference*.

* that is, unless you believe Tom Smith who insists that the fragments of love and hope that do shine through the darkness that is life, shine 10 times brighter than normal. but this, again, is only a matter of opinion..


The Importance of XX. really??

This morning i did the unthinkable: i opened my eyes (gasp!) it was interesting because i realised in a fraction of a second firstly that my alarm had conveniently forgotten to ring and secondly that the sun was up nice and bright and shinning.. no problems there! but then the rest of the second followed and i had to undergo all the usual humiliation -get up, wash up, dress up, shut up and work- and during the later i suddenly became aware that I had stopped caring for some things. Like for example.. who really gives a shit if I have finished this or that translation correctly? No one but my perfectionist self. Who really cares if I have chased around the people I was supposed to chase with no result (me again) and above all, who really cares if I feel misunderstood, wronged or simply pissed off? (take your time answering this one)

So I reached the conclusion that all things are as serious or as frail and superficial as we allow them to be. And what some perceive as carelessness and self imposed lack of interest, other perceive as lack of perspective.. so we all do our little dance around meaningless things until one day we wake up late for work on a sunny morning and realize that the phone hasn’t rung, the boss isn’t pissed off yet and you (who left the office at nine in the evening yesterday) have definitely earned a few more moments of relaxation (if such word really exists).

Don't tell me this has already crossed your mind a few times?
if so, could you remind me what are you really stressing about?