it is strange, but sometimes when i wake up in the morning i have the feeling i have already had a full day. i want to rest, relax, get up quietly and make my way to work (where i will spend the next 9-12 hours with my head down and my ear stuck to a tel.receiver like an obedient little member of society) but i can't. cause in those few moments before i open my eyes i have already done all that. i have gone through that daily routine and i have returned to my bed (that sees less and less of me as i grow older).
i guess this probably means that i have been spending too much time doing the same thing. or maybe it means that i have tired of repeating said thing no matter how long i have been doing it.
whichever the case may be the truth remains simple. i want to wake up in my bed. make a pot of coffee -ala cooper style- and slowly go through the day doing things I need done. for me. like, paint the grey patch on my salmon balcony wall. water my plants. read 'kingdom come' with an afternoon coctail. take a long bath- after i fix my bathtub. clean the house. rearrange my bookcase. buy a new bookcase for the books and cds that now occupy the floor in front of my latin notebooks. dust the notebooks. maybe even open them up and remember writing: 'unus aves sedebat' in one of them when i was bored.
can i do these things? or do i need to give up my job to have the time to deal with them? and, oh lord, why? does it feel so satisfactory to accomplish even one of those little trivialities? like in one second, the day has gained substance and meaning, only by putting the muse cd back under 'M' on the rack.
maybe it actually is that simple.
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